Hello I Love You

Hello I Love Cameos on Big Bang Theory!

2010-11-17T22:49:00.001-08:00

Neil Degrasse Tyson, author of my favorite popular science book Death By Black Hole and Other Cosmic Quandries, real life Galactus*, and astrophysicist extraordinaire , has a cameo on The Big Bang Theory!

All the clips in YouTube didn't allow embedding, so let's settle for a picture:

*Because he's a Destroyer of Worlds!!... You know.. because of Pluto??.. okay fine, the analogy isn't as clever as I thought it was...

Hello I Love Ringside Camp!

2010-02-21T20:34:00.000-08:00

After two years of burning curiosity about the place, I finally made it to Ringside along P. Burgos, Makati (after our Adonis fiasco, where me and Chris thought it was a good idea to go just the two of us at 9 PM on a Monday night, I’ve been wary of going to girly and boyie [?] bars). Two Fridays ago, some ex-classmates from Taiwan paid us a visit and the opportunity finally presented itself to visit the place with a big-enough group of people who were game enough to hit the red light district.

And I really loved it! It was so delightfully campy!! We came in time to watch the midget boxing match (this is the name the bar gave to the event, so sorry if it isn’t exactly PC. Plus I can’t keep up with all the PC terms for midgets these days. Maybe I’ll just refer to them as “the a[dorable wesome] little guys” or TALGs). The fact that the match was so obviously choreographed made it that much more amusing (its not fun when TALGs get hurt for reals…).

The bar’s tactic for getting audience participation is to have one of the guests (preferably a white guy… mmhmm…) referee the fights (incidentally, its also a ploy to get their money since the referee = beer money sugar daddy). They picked one of our friends’ boyfriend so I videotaped the fight for posterity (doh! I wouldn’t have thought to take a video otherwise!). Here’s one the videos I took in all its midgety glory:

Hopefully, there will be a next visit to Ringside so I can watch the girls boxing in oversized boxing gloves. I heard that that too is camp-tastic!

Yay Valentines Day!

2010-02-11T21:36:00.000-08:00

While we're on the subject of Tim Harford... Here's a little something for the singles:

"even when there is little to be lost from maintaining standards, people are very quick to lower them. My advice: do likewise."

Hello, I'm Such A Fangirl

2010-02-11T19:34:00.000-08:00

I’ve been a fan of Tim Harford ever since I accidentally picked-up Undercover Economist in a bookstore in Taiwan two years ago. It was lucky, I guess, since if I were in a store with more English books, I never would have bought and read it. Who knew Economics could be so addictive when it’s used to examine and explain non financial things??

Anyway, turns out that aside from being an Undercover Economist, Tim Harford also writes a column called Dear Economist in The Financial Times where he tries to answer “regular people’s” (regular people read Financial Times??) questions and concerns using Economic Theory. Being the dopey (I would have used “nerdy” instead of dopey, but nerds are actually smart) fangirl that I am, I wrote in a question to Dear Economist one slow afternoon in the office. And, wonder of wonders!! I received a reply within 15 minutes!!

I should probably not be this excited over an e-mail that could very well have been sent by an e-mail reply robot.. But anyway, I am!! I have a genuine Tim Harford e-mail reply!!! Now if I could only find a way to sell this on e-bay…

Separated At Birth??

2009-12-09T21:03:00.000-08:00

You decide...

Marlyn Manson Lady Gaga

Hello I Love December

2009-12-01T02:57:00.001-08:00

Yay! It’s finally December! The month long diet hiatus officially begins! Cheeses, red meats and pastries everywhere beware!!

Hello I Love Celebrity Couples

2009-11-26T20:44:00.000-08:00

The Taylors

I know this isn’t exactly spanking new gossip, but looks like Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner are the new toast of gossip town. This is sort of like that time four years ago when all the blogs and tabloids were making a big hooha over Paris Hilton and Paris Latsis being engaged for all of four months. Apparently, people are suckers for the cheesy goodness of same name couples.

If this keeps up, famewhores everywhere are going to get ideas and start hopping on the matching moniker bandwagon. In fact, if I were a betting woman, I’d put my money on any of these famous/semi-famous/almost famous/infamous public personalities pairing up and forming the next Aww-inducing King and Queen of the tabloids…

The Jamies
Jamie Lee Curtis and Jamie Foxx

The Tracies
Tracy Chapman and Tracy Morgan

The Camerons
Cameron Diaz and Cameron Crowe

The G/Jerries
Geri Halliwel and Jerry Yan

The Kims

Kim Kardashian and Kim Jong Il

The Beau/ows

Beau Bridges and Bow from She-Ra

The Frosties
Frosty the Snowman and a Wendy’s Frosty

The Meatloaves
Meatloaf and an actual Meatloaf

Hello, I'm a Sucker for Promos With Stickers

2009-11-25T20:51:00.000-08:00

(stole this picture from somewhere, I was too lazy

to take pictures of the planner myself)

22 days, 17 cups of coffee and 4 pounds later, I finally “earned” my 2010 starbucks planner.

Am I happy?

I’m not sure, maybe I will be once my sweat stops tasting like toffee nut lattes..

Do I think the planner is worth guzzling 9 cups of Holiday Featured Beverages in two weeks?

I’m pretty sure it isn’t (I’ve only ever used non electronic planners for a maximum of two months).

If I don’t think its worth it, why did I screw myself over so willingly??

My best guess is I was driven by a compulsion to collect all those stickers due to deep seated frustrations at never having completed any of my Panini sticker books as a child…

*Update: I got another planner for Christmas which I am now using. The starbucks planner is now nothing but a fire hazard at home..

Hello I Love Excel Doodles

2009-11-18T19:59:00.000-08:00

Ahh Digdug.. I never got past the first two levels but I loved it anyway

Hello! My Shoes are Sorta Kinda Famous!

2009-11-18T19:42:00.000-08:00

Spotted: my shoes in the sartorialist! and in Paris no less!!!

Okay, so they're not MY shoes, but they're the same type of shoe.. It probably doesn't sound like much cause for excitement, but for me it somehow feels like fashion validation.. Like I'm on the right shoe buying track (I was beginning to regret buying these shoes).
ALSO the shoes are being worn with black stockings which i was on the fence about (because the shoes are open toed the stockings might be jologs or something)...

Happy happy! I know a pair of shoes that are going to get a lot of foot time in the coming weeks...

Hello I Love (My) Birthdays…

2009-11-10T19:59:00.000-08:00

Here was my birthday cake this year (a few minutes before it was consumed)...

Sociopaths and pariahs take heart! Theres a silver lining to having nobody want to celebrate your birth: More cake for you!!

DISCLAIMER: I often distort the truth in this blog to either attempt to be funny or garner sympathy from the occasional reader. Family and friends, I only implied that i spent my birthday reclusively because I have a weird sense of humor, hehehe. Thanks for all the birthday wishes, my third 25th birthday was a blast! :)

Yet Another Shoe Post...

2009-10-27T17:35:00.001-07:00

I've always associated breaking in new shoes with breaking in a horse (not that I know anything about horses or horse training/riding. The closest I've ever come to it is driving a scooter I lovingly named "My Little Pony"). In my mind, both involve wearing out of the horse/the shoe a bit until they bend to your will/your foot. But three weeks after they were bought, my not so new pumps are no more comfortable than they were the first time I wore them.
I'm beginning to think that pumps are the footwear equivalent of those un-trainable wild bucks you see on the old Westerns... If anything =, I think it was my feet that broke: they're covered in wounds, blisters and developing calluses, plus I think my foot bones are slowly being rearranged and realigned.
I've completely bent to the will of my shoe and resigned to ther perpetual discomfort (incidentally, these are the same shoes which I called "surprisingly comfortable" when I first tried them on in the store). This morning, after changing into my pumps in the car, I made it out of the parking lot and into my office entrance before realizing I had put each shoe on the wrong foot...

This Week’s Worth of Life Lessons: Shoes are a broke woman’s cocaine

2009-10-24T22:19:00.000-07:00

This week, it seems as if someone turned my shoe obsession dial up to… well… as high as that shoe obsession dial can go. I suppose this is because people always want what they can’t afford and right now I can’t afford much of anything, let alone anything as frivolous as shoes. So naturally the siren call of new shoes has been stronger than ever, inexorably leading me to the jagged rocks of financial ruin. But I’m slowly wising up. Oh shiny new shoes, I will not be your bitch for much longer!! Here are some of this week’s shoe related life lessons:

- Being broke means being broke (repeat until it sinks in)
- The pair of pumps you just bought will never be the last you’ll ever want (no matter what you promise yourself)
- Don’t believe everything you see in The Sartorialist (or at least what you thought you saw); a pair of strappy sandals will never pass as closed shoes even if you wear them with black stockings
- Shoes are an expense that keep on.. um.. expensing (with new shoes comes new bags and accessories, extra travel expenses [the less walking you actually have to do the better] plus additional medical expenses [bandages and trips to an orthopedic doctor])
- The minute you step inside a shoe store you’re doomed… keep out to keep your money!!

Pictures of Past Mistakes:

I’m not sure if this is exactly the pair I bought.. from the shelf my shoes look like your basic black pump, its when you put them on that they really shine

Cognitive dissonance personified (shoe-sonified?), I feel like I’m going to be seeing this on the sale bin very soon

*couldn't find and was too lazy to take a picture of a pair of white, probably faux ostrich skin pumps with 3-inch wooden heels*

Future Conquests

(you shall be mine!!! you know.. as soon as I’m more financially stable or they go on sale.. whichever comes first)

*couldn't find a picture of these super cool Stellaluna wedges. The wedge part was 6 inches high and covered in shiny shiny patent leather!! I get a nervous twitch whenever I imagine them*

Coolest Shoes I've Seen This Week

Only Carine Roitfeld can pull these off though... or somebody equally skinny, leggy and fabulous

Lessons From 80’s Rock Ballads

2009-09-19T00:16:00.000-07:00

ROCK BALLAD: All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You
BY: Heart
LESSON:
Are you and your significant other having trouble conceiving? Save yourself the money and hassle of taking various infertility treatments. Why not have unprotected sex with a random (and more virile) hitchhiker instead? Have a wild night of animal sex, send him packing the next day and get your preggers on for the next 9 months. No consequences, no commitments, and for the cost of one night at a cheap motel you’ll be popping out a little tike for you and your husband to call your own!

For The Love of Marc Nelson

2009-08-17T22:30:00.000-07:00

As if I didn’t make a big enough stink out of it in Facebook, I’m also posting an entry about the Kenny Rogers Urbanite run I joined last Saturday (if you haven’t guessed by now, not enough post worthy things happen in my life)…

Fueled by boredom (being a bum is only fun if you have money and friends who are also bums) and a white hot desire to gawk at, and possibly have my way with, Marc Nelson, I joined the run almost on a whim. Anyway, the results came out today (or yesterday, I’m not really sure) and considering my only training was palpitating while staring at topless photos of Marc Nelson I don’t think I did too badly…

Of course my real run achievement was this… (thats me and Marc Nelson, in case you can't make it out.. The reason it's blurred is that Marc Nelson is so hot that he blurs all pictures taken by cameras not forged by Gods in the majestic halls of Valhalla).

How Now Brown Cow?

2009-08-13T00:06:00.000-07:00

Well, the unthinkable has finally happened...

I finally finished my MBA (or, as they call it, my MS in BS).. What happens now? We'll see, we'll see...

*HINT: probably something that involves a boring desk job*

Goodbye For Now Taiwan

2009-01-26T06:00:00.000-08:00

A month ago, I could barely wait to go home for Winter Break. Strangely enough, the night before my flight I can't help but feel a little sad to leave, especially now that the University is so quiet and deserted. It's actually pretty nice walking around campus without meeting anybody and hearing and seeing the few remaining dormers let it all hang out and talk and sing until mid morning. I also particularly enjoyed pulling out the lobby furniture into the dorm porch and having "lunch out" until 3 PM.

The old Tainan police station

Random building at NCKU

But of course, I'd pick the din of my semi-functional family and friends over the peace of an empty campus anyday. So, seeya Taiwan! My next post will be made from the Philippines...

Hello, Moment of Spontaneous Defamiliarization

2009-01-22T05:42:00.000-08:00

Blame my booking my tickets home too late, but now I’m pretty much alone in the campus with so much free time I barely know what to do with myself. This morning as I was trying to brush my lashes straight with a toothbrush, I suddenly got a weird case of jamais vu; it was like I was seeing a human face for the first time. And it was then that it struck me: Why do people consider eyelashes beautiful? I mean its hair… growing out of your eyeholes! They’re like thick curved tentacles surrounding your eyes *shudders* pretty disgusting.

I’m staying away from mirrors from now on…

Hello, I Love Doodles, My Boyfriend

2009-01-21T05:31:00.000-08:00

looks like a 4 year old's picture stuck to the fridge

Doodle #1 using corel Painter my boyfriend's christmas gift:

Made It Through the Wilderness (Somehow I made it through...)

2009-01-21T03:38:00.000-08:00

It’s officially Winter Break in Taiwan and I’m officially back from my three week cram-for-finals-and-thesis blogging hiatus. It’s a very strange feeling when you actually survive something that a few weeks ago you felt certain would crush you like a bug…

Anyway, to get me back into the groove of putting up posts, I’m putting up these e-doodles I made using excel during a particularly dull class.

I love excel!!!

Will be posting more in the next few days!

It's Hard to Say Goodbye...

2009-01-03T22:35:00.000-08:00

Hello, I Love New Year's Resolutions

2009-01-03T21:46:00.000-08:00

There’s nothing like waking up at 10am on new year’s day in your party hostess’s bed, with everybody from last night’s party gone (including the hostess who probably had to sleep at a friend’s because you were hogging her bed) and just a vague recollection of what happened after you downed that last glass of Jesus juice, then stumbling out into the living room to get your things only to have your hostess’s housemate from out of town suddenly arrive and give you a confused stare while you make for the door before she thinks to call the police (ehem… this is a hypothetical situation of course.. cough.. cough), to fill you with shame and the desire for self improvement.

After that fateful (and hypothetical) morning, I took it upon myself to make the following promises to myself this 2009 so I can become the proper and accomplished not-so-young lady that all the Jane Austen books have conditioned me to believe I should aspire to be:

1. I will read less novels and more nonfiction… fashion magazines, tabloids and gossip blogs are nonfiction right?

2. I will introduce more variety into my diet … by putting oden sauce on my daily 711 siopao lunch every now and then instead of creamy soy sauce

3. I will be more charitable… (read: I will throw more marshmallows at stray dogs)

4. I will exercise more… by buying candy on shelves that I have to stretch or crouch down to reach

5. I will shed some weight… by wearing lighter fabrics (cotton pants instead of denims and corduroys)

6. I will be nicer to people… HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, okay maybe not

7. I will learn to play a musical instrument… I’ve always liked cowbell

8. I will spend less money… by bartering or by obtaining a ~~sugar daddy~~ sponsor to do the spending for me

9. I will become proficient in a new language… namely, hip hop slang (It’s all gravy my baby)

10. I will never drink again… in the presence of friends with cameras and Facebook accounts

Hello, I Love My Mom... and Mr. T

2008-12-18T20:21:00.001-08:00

So it was my mom's birthday yesterday right? But I'm here in Taiwan and unemployed... How does one send her love and good birthday wishes across the South China Sea with a ~~limited~~ non-existent budget?

And lo, the answer revealed itself as this:

Happy Birthday Mom!!

Scenes from Jason's Birthday Bowl

2008-12-17T00:39:00.001-08:00

Jason makes a new friend...

Call for Interviewees

2008-12-16T02:28:00.000-08:00

Hello,

If you happen to be browsing by my blog (hey man, it could happen) and you're:

1) In the Philippines

2) Using a prepaid SIM card

then congratulations! You are eligible to be interviewed by me for my thesis and receive a naked picture of my boyfriend (or whomever you like) as a token of thanks.

If you're interested, e-mail me at tengbateng@yahoo.com

(hey, it could work right??)

your help is greatly appreciated.

thanks,

tetaw

Cindi Lauper, is that you??

2008-12-15T22:34:00.000-08:00

This is wierd and wonderful. Its like watching The Breakfast Club and seeing Tara Reid lip-synching to Cindi Lauper....

Holy Embolism Batman!!

2008-12-13T03:04:00.000-08:00

Woven bacon cheese roll of death

If I could learn to cook only one thing in my life, it would be this.

Hello, I Love Christmas Songs 3 : Zooey Deschanel & Leon Redbone

2008-12-13T02:56:00.000-08:00

12 days before Christmas!!

Hello, I Love Pretending I Care

2008-12-10T20:27:00.000-08:00

This holiday season, are you wondering what to give that person from the next cubicle who you don't really care about but you feel somewhat beholden to because she/he always lets you take as much of his/her tissues and use his/her scissors to jimmy your file cabinet open?

Why not send them an e-card from someecards.com? They have some pretty funny holiday cards that say loud and clear "Hey man, I don't know you that well, but merry Christmas... now can I have more tissue?"

this is funny because this is what I will be doing on the 25th...

All I Want for Christmas...

2008-12-10T20:05:00.000-08:00

... is a giant, firebreathing robot dog that I can ride around the streets of London.

Watch Robo Dog in Game Videos View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

saw this at notcot.org

Hello, I Love Christmas Songs 2 : Phantom Planet

2008-12-10T01:27:00.001-08:00

15 days before Christmas!!!

Hello, It's Almost Jason's Birthday

2008-12-10T01:19:00.000-08:00

Hello, I Love Christmas Songs 1 : Raveonettes

2008-12-08T21:04:00.000-08:00

16 days before Christmas!

Thesis a Progress Report

2008-12-08T02:10:00.000-08:00

You always hear people say that it's hard to make progress if you don't keep track of your progress (okay maybe only I'm the only one who always hears it... from the strange voices in my head...). So to help make headway in the lost cause that is my thesis, I made the following charts to document how far I've gone after three months of thesis sweat, blood and tears:

Figure 1. Overall Progress

Figure 2. Number of Zits

Figure 3. Weight Gained (in lbs)

Figure 4. Stress-to-Output Ratio

I'm thinking of passing this to my thesis advisor in lieu of a real progress report...

Give Your Loved-Ones Herpes this Christmas

2008-12-02T09:36:00.000-08:00

coolstuffexpress.com is selling plush herpes microbes. They're cute AND educational! They also make good christmas gifts for your significant other; nothing says "forever" like big box of herpes.

UPDATE: I never noticed how much herpes looks like a fried egg...

Hello, I Love Sleeping Around

2008-12-02T08:15:00.000-08:00

Here's an interesting article from jezebel.com on why women sleep around and how it's not as anomalous or unnatural as some people think.

If you have the time, you can read the actual study from New Scientist that the jezebel article cites, it's longer but it's a good read.

Anyway, now I understand why I never seem to get a lot of tail...

Figure 1. My hand...

Happy Andres Bonifacio Day!!

2008-11-30T01:13:00.001-08:00

Although he is one of the most important figures (some would argue that he IS the most important figure) in the Philippine revolution for independence from Spain, very few of us really know who Andres, the man, is. As a child, most of the things I was taught, or that I read about, were colored by opinions of teachers and scholars. He was either glorified as a revolutionary hero or condemned for being uneducated and impulsive.

The search for the true and unbiased source of Bonifacio’s identity led me here… to his horoscope. Being born on November 30, he is a Sagittarius.

According to horoscope.com, here some clues for what Sagittarians should expect:

Celebrity Astro Gossip

Sienna Miller recently hit the headlines for the extreme lengths she was prepared to go to in a recent pop video which was definitely not children friendly! However, disturbances in her chart suggest that the next big event in Sienna’s story is going to relate to a personal relationship. Sienna may need to get herself a good publicist as the indications are that there will be some seriously salacious gossip spread around!
[Lesson from Sienna Miller to Andres: get yourself a damn good publicist, team Aguinaldo is spreading some seriously salacious gossip about you at the Tejeros Convention]

For those of us born on November 30

Happy Birthday! The months ahead are likely to provide those exciting challenges that stave off the boredom [like fighting for independence, yea!!]. Your money situation will remain strong until well into the summer, so expect no fluctuations in your finances until then. However after the summer it will be important to keep an eye on your spending patterns. The months of May and June will be a good time to take on new ventures and interests [like running for president, go Boni!], because while your energy will be at a peak you’ll also be in a more practical frame of mind, but make sure that you don’t neglect your friends [or they will promptly throw a hissy fit and then have you executed]. The fall will bring with it yet more developments [like being dead and in a shallow grave]. Affairs and flings will be the order of the day in the pursuit of fun [yes… Pugadlawin WAS super fun…]. Friendships become very solid in October and work or school will also absorb your somewhat flagging energy, which will be revived by a short respite in November!

From astrology.com:

Sagittarius Fashion Profile

The Archer is usually more at home under the stars than indoors, but even the illustrious explorer needs to wear clothing [so true!]. Not big on fashion, and not really caring about making a statement, you dress in comfortable clothes that allow freedom of movement and can handle the rugged nature of your existence [uhh, yeah.. you can’t get more rugged than a Katipunero, hello!]. Clothing made out of hemp or other natural fibers suit you best. If you finally manage to render a garment unwearable for the holes [or bullet holes], you can give it [and yourself] a proper burial to return it to the earth. Hippie days are not past yet, for long skirts, ponchos and loose-fit jeans suit you perfectly. Sportswear of any kind suits your lifestyle. You may look out of place during dressy occasions [no shit!], but you're not so concerned about what others think of your looks, concentrating instead on letting them in on the inner levels of your knowledge.

Hiking boots or sandals adorn your feet on most days [psshhh, shoes are for sissies! Katipunero's only roll barefoot!]. Going barefoot is not too rare, either [see?]. Makeup is a pain and jewelry just gets in the way, broken or lost, so you simply don't wear any [you speak the truth]. Strong colors, particularly navy blue [uh, hello, red?], lifts your spirits, but you rarely bother to match your clothing. Sagittarius men have no problem with scraggly beards, and a woman's hair is something to turn into natural dreadlocks [hahaha!! i won't even say anything], shave off or throw back in a ponytail. Your colorful clothing causes smiles as you go, unassuming, on your way.

Fave Label: Marc Jacobs [huh… I always saw Andy as more of a Michael Kors kind of guy]

Would Look Good On: Katie Holmes

Breaking News: Math Geeks are Smart, Not Smooth

2008-11-28T19:22:00.000-08:00

So I'm in my SBM class again right? So naturally I'm idly reading random blogs while my professor is yapping on about probability sampling...

And lo and behold, I find this Math Geek Pickup shirt from Talk Like A Physicist :

Then I thought, "hey I used to know how to do integral calculus! surely this equation holds some clever joke and is therefore worth solving". Unfortunately, three years of corporate life has eroded all knowledge of them fancy maths from my noggin (sorry kids, despite what your math professor says, chances are you will never use all those fancyschmancy calculations past college, unless, you know, you become a professor yourself *shudders*).

Anyway, with a little google dilligence, I managed to solve for the punchline.

Behold, the solution!

har har har... that's 20 minutes of my life I'll never get back...

Item Number One in the List of Things to Buy When I'm Working Again

2008-11-28T18:38:00.000-08:00

Saw this on moopshop

It's the Tommy xiao digital polaroid! Prints pictures instantly and even makes sticker prints! *sigh* being poor sucks

Hello I Love Feel Good Videos

2008-11-26T10:52:00.000-08:00

I keep seeing (and ~~stealing~~ reposting) wonderful things from swissmiss...

This is another one of those videos that leave you feeling like life is truly wonderful...

Fifty People, One Question: New York from Crush & Lovely on Vimeo.

Geez, now I've got a silly grin on my face that won't go away! Now I have to go out and roll on the grass or hug a bunch of strangers or something...

Hello I Love 30 Rocks

2008-11-25T19:33:00.000-08:00

This made me laugh so hard that I think I woke my roommate.

Now I remember why I loved Sesame Street as a child ( aside from that psychidelic pinball cartoon where somebody sings "1, 2, 3, 4, 5... 6, 7, 8, 9, 10...11.. tweeeeeelve", you know what Im talking about right?). But Sesame Street seems to have become more sophisticated since my time. They show parodies now and not just kids playing in drainpipes and talking to all sorts of strangers. And apparently they count up to 30 now; the highest number I ever remember them counting to as a child was 12 (but then again my memory isn't what it used to be).

Going back to the video, this made me laugh:

Jack: Do you know how many rocks ARE here?? There could be 50, or a hundred or.... 3....

Liz Lemon: Well we can find out, Jack.

Jack: HOW?? We can't ask them, they're rocks!!

hahaha... God I have a pathetic sense of humor...

Hello I Love You Lito

2008-11-20T21:19:00.000-08:00

My love for Lito Lapid is well known among my friends (partly because of an incident involving Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers and angry conjectures on who Legolas stole his moves from).

Alas, the heart’s memory can be short, and the longer our love-affair, the more we forget the little things that made us fall in love in the first place. Thankfully, this is where youtube comes in…

Seeing this was like falling in love all over again! Now that is what Lito Lapid is all about! It’s just… wow…Wow!! I don’t know where to start! I mean the song? The man cleavage (with shirt rivets to match)? The masked salakot? A musical segment that’s over 10 minutes long?? What.is.not.to.love?

I especially love how they got creative with use of clothing lines here…
There’s bolo + 100 meter clothing line = Pinoy Nunchucks (they’re like your usual Nunchucks only deadlier because they have razor sharp blades! … and easy to grip rubber handles) Also, one Bolo-On-A-String (BOAS) wasn’t enough! There had to be two (and they had to be holstered on Lito’s back, and form a kind of ghetto back fringe that fly all over the place when he moves). BOASes are one part nunchuck, one part whip, all angular momentum defying Filipino death machines.

Then there’s the clothing line as a part of a complex horse and tree pulley system. Never mind that it’s easier to just shoot Lito’s enemies from the ground. Never mind that hanging precariously from a tall tree actually makes him an easier target for his gun-toting enemies. Never mind that a clothing line that thin couldn’t possibly support his body weight. And never mind that what he’s doing would leave nasty rope burns. Anyway, his enemies, like his movie audience, are just going to stand still in wonderment while he machine guns the life out of each of them.

Ohh man… that’s too much love for one afternoon.. I have to lie down now… then go make my own Bolo on a string..

How's This For Qualitative Research?

2008-11-19T07:48:00.000-08:00

Exactitudes

That's Not My Name! That's Not My Name!

2008-11-18T19:39:00.000-08:00

You know how sometimes there's a song that bounces around your head and it just won't stop?

[just nod and pretend you do]

Today that song is That's Not My Name by The Ting Tings (just shut up and let me go, Ting Tings! haha...ha..ha.. ehhhh.. I crack myself up).

Anyway, I have surrendered to the song's irrepressible brain bounciness. My first child or next pet (whichever comes first.. I'm hoping for the latter) will now be named Mary Jho-Leesa (its totally Pinoy!).

[oh, and thanks jess for pointing me theTing Ting way]

Snail Mail Epiphany

2008-11-17T11:20:00.000-08:00

This afternoon, I mailed my first real letter in years (real, in the sense that it wasn’t just a note accompanying documents or a package like “Dear [ex-boyfriend’s name], Here’s your stuff back. Shove it up your you-know-what. Haha, but seriously, let’s stay friends.”). It was just a birthday card for my sister, but it made me realize that sending letters to family and friends by post might be better than sending them by e-mail. And I mean better in a more practical than sentimental sense, I’m not really one of those people who scrapbook all my correspondences and notice little details in letters like impeccable handwriting done in swan quill or tear stains on the paper (evidence of the considerable effort exerted by the author to write without a spellchecker).

One of the reasons that practically nobody sends letters by post (to family or friends who live far away, I’m not talking about work related letters, or just-for-giggles forwards to that person in the next cubicle) is that e-mail is so much faster; you send an e-mail and your friends halfway around the world get it in a second. What I’ve noticed though, is that e-mail is too fast for the slow pace of my life. My life is so uneventful that one month’s worth of stories will barely be enough content for one letter (of course this isn’t true for everyone, I know people who average three one-night-stands a day and/or have so much drama in their lives that each of the hourly e-mails they send are as intriguing as the last). But e-mail puts so much pressure on me to write people more times than I have stories to tell, partly because I always think people will consider me unsympathetic if I wait a week or even a day to reply. As a result, my usual letters are something along the lines of:

Hi [friend or family member's name],

Thank you for your letter, I’m glad your week is going well, just like last week.
This morning, I forgot to clean the washing machine lint filter before washing my colored clothes. As a result all my dark clothes are covered in white fuzz of questionable origin. Hahaha,*sigh*, lesson learned.

Luvya,
Tetaw

With snail mail, there’s always necessary waiting time for my letter to reach the recipient, for the recipient to write the letter (without a spellchecker), and for the reply to reach me. Meanwhile, I get ample time allowance to wait for something eventful to happen in my life… and/or enough time for me to cook up stories that are both interesting and believable (it’s a lot harder than it seems). And if times are hard and my life is duller than usual, or if a creative drought is inhibiting my ability to invent stories, I can always say that the letters got lost in the mail, thus buying myself more time.

mmmmm...

2008-11-17T08:05:00.000-08:00

mmmm... pie.... chart

saw this on swissmiss

Bored in SBM Class

2008-11-14T21:40:00.000-08:00

The professor is talking about variances in income demographics in a survey they once had. He says there has to be variance otherwise why bother having a study at all. All intervals can't be the same.

The student in front of me is reading some kind of blog thing with her hoodie on (but why? it isn't that cold)

[ loud computer sound rings out, everyone ignores it]

The guys to my right are whispering about something, about bending your knees or something.

The people to my left are whispering about something unintelligible

[ the professor asks for any questions, nobody has any]

[break time, the person to my immediate right and the person to my immediate left are gone.

I should have eaten something for lunch... 711 is so far... 2 more hours to go!! must summon inner yogi abilities: iron stomach lining, iron stomach lining!!]

teeheehee

2008-11-14T18:24:00.000-08:00

Should I be alarmed that I can relate to the little hamster??

View From Beyond Saturn

2008-11-11T04:19:00.000-08:00

This is 2006 picture of Saturn is so beautiful it looks unreal. This is Saturn directly in front of the sun. From what I could understand from the photography babble from the Nasa website, it's a color exaggerated composite of 165 pictures of the eclipse.

The thing I like about this picture is I'm actually in it (well, along with the rest of humanity)! I'm not sure if it's visible from the picture upload since blogger seems to make all my pictures smaller no matter what I do, but that little speck on the left is earth. I put the speech bubble there to make it more obvious(subtlety has never been one of my strong points :D).

I like looking at pictures like these when I get all morose and sulky. Its a good reminder of how trivial whatever the drama in my life is when compared with the immensity of even just our solar system. Its like Saturn is saying "look at me. now, look at you. what? you can't? then get over yourself!!".

Ask Me About Astley...

2008-11-06T23:08:00.000-08:00

This is probably the best literal video I've ever seen...

Of course that could just be because I'm kind of inlove with Rick Astley. His 80's hipster dance moves are totally mesmerizing! Plus his song saved me from moments of ackward silence with a guy I used to go out with. Every time there was a lull in our conversations, one of us would just start singing "Never gonna give you up...".

As a suppliment to this post, here's a link to a Rick Roll howto. Not that I get Rick Rolling at all. Why would you need to trick anyone into watching any of Rick's awsome videos?? I personally seek them out myself..

Remebering Our First Computer

2008-11-04T12:16:00.000-08:00

It’s my second 25th in three days (my sister says the buck stops at 25) but I never really thought of what that meant until I had a conversation with my boyfriend about my family’s first personal computer. The thing is, people born past the 80’s will never know the wonder and amazement that comes with seeing and using your first personal computer when you’ve never even heard of it before.

I was 5 or 6 (or 7 or 8, I don’t quite remember, we’ve already established that I’m getting old right?) when my dad told us we were getting a personal computer and neither I nor my sisters had any notion of what a computer was supposed to be or do (or maybe I should just speak for me. In any case, I think I was half expecting something that resembled R2D2). When the delivery guys brought the computer to our house, it came in three baffling pieces. My sisters and I immediately laid claims to the three separate parts (we didn’t understand that you actually had to hook everything together); my eldest sister got first dibs on the monitor since it was very TV-like, my other sister took the keyboard since it had lots of clicky, pressy things, and, being the youngest, I got stuck with the most uninteresting piece, the CPU, with only two measly buttons to play with.

baby me, other faces have been changed to protect the innocent

We were all a bit sore when the computer guy took our parts away from us and put the computer together. We got over it though, when we realized that the sum was greater than the parts. You could play games (like galaxian, moonbugs and round42. I was too panicky to actually play the games by myself so my dad would take care of the controls while I just pressed the space bar as fast as I possibly could)! You got to feel like a super techie as you inserted the floppy disk after floppy disk to play your games (you had to put in the DOS boot disk at the right moment to boot the computer before you could do anything)! You could type stuff and make text drawings in the text editor! I even remember how excited we got when my dad showed us a personalized DOS boot disk he had made for us that displayed “Hello Tina, Karina and Tetaw! Please take care of this computer” for a few seconds after booting (it was like the computer knew who we were!!).

You crazy kids with your internets and applepods will probably roll your eyes at this. But the thing is, I don’t think you will ever experience the same level of awe and wonder at your digital picture-snappers, wireless telephone machines or any of your new-fangled gadgets as we did when we first laid eyes on our first personal computer.

Know Your Black Holes...

2008-11-02T08:56:00.000-08:00

Phil Plaitt has a funny and easy to understand post about black holes on badastronomy.com.

See Stephen Hawking?? It can be done! Now get to work on your next book "A Not Necessarily Very Brief History of Time, But At Least One Where Your Brain Won't Begin To Hurt After The Third Chapter".

Frying An Egg With a CPU

2008-10-31T02:07:00.000-07:00

Somebody fried eggs using their CPU...

Particularly interesting because the guy is from the physics department of the school I'm studying in right now.

R2 Fish Training School

2008-10-30T20:29:00.000-07:00

Wow... this is... wow....

I've always thought fish were the most boring pets ever. All they ever do is eat, swim, poop and forget their owner after 7 seconds (then remember... then forget after another 7 seconds). But apparently they're trainable.. thinkgeek doesnt really say how the R2 Fish Training School Kit does it, but they do say that it's "used to train the fish trick world record holder - developed by a real Ph.D!".

Sold! If it's developed by a REAL Ph.D then its good enough for me! Now all I need is a fish....

Link

Whatever Happened to Alice Dixon?

2008-10-29T06:26:00.000-07:00

Its TV ads like this that make me proud to be a child of the 80's...

Hope for the Halloweenies

2008-10-28T10:50:00.000-07:00

This year, most prospects for Halloween are exceedingly bleak because of the US recession. Times are hard and money is scant (I have to survive on one 711 steamed bun a day just to afford my Vicodin and clay animation porn addiction [judge me if you want, but that Gumby is limber!]). People want to celebrate Halloween but are worried about costs. So, to help today’s frugal Hallowieners , I’ve compiled a list of cheap but distinctive Halloween costumes.

Lt. Mitch Buchannan

The thrifty halloweenie can go as Baywatch’s Lt. Mitch Buchannon, probably the hottest (well, arguably) male lifeguard in the show (not to mention the only male lifeguard that lasted throughout the whole series). This costume couldn’t get any cheaper, just throw on some bright orange shorts, leave some curlers on overnight, “borrow” a buoy from the community pool and draw on some chest hair and you’re good to go! Don’t have a pair of orange shorts? Just steal one from your gay neighbor’s clothes line, or spray paint any old shorts that you have lying around.

Johnny Quest

For those that want a costume that says “I crave adventure and excitement but am still really just a boy at heart”, why not go as Johnny Quest? The costume couldn’t be more inexpensive or easier to put together. Just grab your mother/sister/girlfriend’s black three-fourths sweater, put on a pair of jeans and white sneakers then soak your hair in peroxide for a few hours. Although, there is a risk that people might confuse you with Jared Leto’s character in Fight Club, but this will only happen if you’re good looking, so there’s not much risk of confusion is there?

The Blue Lagoon’s Richard and Em

Couples wanting low-cost matching costumes don’t have to look further than the classic 80’s movie, The Blue Lagoon, for inspiration. Now girls can share the experience of dressing like a slut on Halloween with their significant other at the cost of single, torn-up old white sheet. Shock your friends, relive Brooke Shields’ glory days and role play Richard and Em’s discovery of the birds and the bees as well as of the joys of incest without breaking the bank.

Mischa Barton

Female Halloweenies who are similarly cost-conscious could consider dressing up as Mischa Barton. The costume is easy! Just look through your closet and look for tops, bottoms, shoes and accessories that completely clash with each other and in no way form a cohesive ensemble. It’s a plus if you can find clothes that don’t flatter you as well. You already own everything needed to make this costume so it won’t cost you a penny! Make a statement at your Halloween costume party; show them that, like Mischa Barton, you are a free spirit! untethered by the basic rules of fashion and aesthetics. And isn’t that what Halloween is really about?? Just going nuts and throwing all good taste out the door.

Happy Halloween!!!

20081023 Today in my Taiwan Life

2008-10-22T23:36:00.000-07:00

In the continuing effort to lose weight in order to fit into a too small jacket that I bought back home, I had naught but a pot of yogurt for lunch today. (I like believing that yogurt can add no fat to your body. Sure it has milk, and that thing that makes it really sweet is probably sugar, but I will continue to believe this till the day I die… or can afford to hire a real nutritionist who will tell me otherwise). Maybe the food deprivation is making me all pissy and ranty, but I was really annoyed to find that there was only one strawberry in my pot of Yoplait yogurt… Look at the packaging…

There is clearly more than one strawberry pictured in the pot and this is clearly false advertising! This is nothing but a pretentious yogurt pot feigning fruitiness. Or maybe all that Chinese writing on the package that I can’t read is saying “I’m a pot of yogurt with just one measly strawberry preserve even though my package has a picture of five fresh strawberries.”

Today in Taiwan: Bad Weather and Bad Chinese

2008-06-16T04:23:00.000-07:00

What is love??

2008-02-10T19:26:00.000-08:00

It being almost valentine's and all, here are a few love lessons we should all learn, courtesy of haddaway:

What is love?

In this song, Haddaway attempts to answer the age old question, “What is love?”. The lyrics, while seemingly simple and trite to the point of being inane, actually provide deep insight to love and human nature... let’s examine some of the lyrics...

What is love? [ a statement of the question]

Baby don’t hurt me don’t hurt me no more
[the first word of this line is used to remind us that, when faced with love, we are all infants in our helplessness and innocence. This line is purposely made colloquial to underscore one of the contradictions of love: that it is accessible to the masses, that it can be in the everyday, and yet it’s manifestations are still quite extraordinary] .

Baby don’t hurt me don’t hurt me no more
[A repetition of the previous line for emphasis]

What is love Yeah
[this directs us back to the question and invites us to once more ponder upon it]

Oh, I don't know why you're not there
I give you my love, but you don't care
So what is right and what is wrong
Gimme a sign
[This verse is designed to convey the confusion that love brings about. Here we are left to guess who the singer is addressing, is it a lover? God? Himself? Or is he addressing love itself? The interpretation is left up to us.
The third line of the verse illustrates the futility of searching for black and white morality in matters of love. To be in love is to be in the gray area between right and wrong.
In the fourth line, the author uses the word “Gimme” which is a portmanteau of “give” and “me”, this is symbolic of the power of love to unite previously distinct objects and people. ]

...
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
[ This verse signifies the singer’s surrender to love. He is left without words and resorts to primal utterances of awe and joy. It should also be noted that “Whoa” is used here as a homophone of “woe” which denotes that love is a double edged sword, it inspires wonder but at the same time brings about unspeakable misery. This verse also conveys the final message of the song which is that love cannot be described in words, it must just be experienced and embraced]

I’ve Got Way Too Much Free Time

2007-09-10T03:25:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, during my usual afternoon ritual of staring vacantly at a wall while listening to 80’s power ballads, I had a vision… A vision of my future… A vision of my future with Richard Quest, my super hot business traveling beacon of hope and my window to current events around the world.

With some Photoshop diligence, I made some visuals of my glorious epiphany..

Here’s what our wedding would look like.

This is me and RQ smiling for the photographers after the 5 minute ceremony at the Little Church of the West Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas. Aww, we’re so happy!

This is our two tier wedding cake.. it will be made out of marble and won’t actually be edible, but it will taste like peaches if you lick it.

And here’s a picture of us with my newly acquired family at the reception. My two step sons Johnny (black shirt on the right) and Hadji (turban on the right). Their nanny Race Banon and dog Bandit are on the left beside Hadji. And that’s a lizard man there in the middle with The Canon of Happiness and Prosperity. I smell a Happy Ever After!!

Signs that you've been out of work for too long

2007-08-30T21:38:00.000-07:00

1. The highlight of your day is doing your laundry (which incidentally isn’t much since you only ever wear that one oversized Cat Gas LPG t-shirt to lounge around the house all week)

2. You’re beginning to get a tan from being exposed to TV light so much

3. You find yourself repeatedly watching Hallmark movies w/ titles like “My Son is Not a Murderer”, “Love’s Abiding Joy” and “Fatal Error” (which is a movie about a deadly virus that’s spread through computer monitors and stars Antonio Sabato Jr. and some actress girl) and sobbing hysterically the whole time.

4. You’re beginning to get bed sores from lying on your ass all day.

5. You eat breakfast food for every meal since you always think its morning after waking up from your 5 hour naps.

6. You’ve been sending messages to all your exes, both real and imagined (those restraining orders didn’t give any restrictions on sending messages now did they?? So suck on that!!), out of sheer boredom (or desperation, who knows?).

7. You start getting really good at using Photoshop to paste your face onto pictures of parties and vacations so you can post them on Friendster and fake having your fantasy life of being a rich socialite crime solving psychic.

8. You go shopping for three hours and end up buying only soap and toothpaste since, aside from being broke, you don’t have anything to wear new clothes, shoes or accessories to. So you lock yourself in a mall fitting room and sob hysterically while drawing a warts and body hair on your reflection with lipstick until mall security kicks you out.

9. Your eyebrows are now non existent since you’ve taken to compulsively plucking them during your idle time.. which is all the time since you quit your job.

10. The only other time you’ve left the house in the past three weeks is when you had to go to the hospital for tetanus and rabies shots after the neighbors dog bit you for trying to lure him with tasty bread and then kidnap him and then maybe kill him.. or marry him.. it depends on your mood really.

So you survived Valentines day....

2007-02-15T21:31:00.000-08:00

... congratulations on your new borderline personality disorder! Have a Carebear! (they’re absolutely scrumptious)

But don’t shift into your manic state just yet.. First make sure you’ve crossed off everything on this post valentines to-do list

- Put away all your emo CDs, take a bath, eat a decent meal and sack up! After valentines, being all weepy and lovelorn is just annoying
- Check if any of the cuts you made on yourself are still bleeding one day after you made them. Any excessive bleeding might mean you either nicked a major artery or have diabetes or something, in which case you probably need to call an ambulance… right now. Remember, self mutilation is only cool when nobody dies… (otherwise its just suicide and that was only cool for 5 minutes back in 1997)
- If you’re one of those budget conscious people who live by the “Break up before Christmas, make up after Valentine’s day” rule, it’s time to give your ex a call..
- Get rid of all that chocolate you ate (summer is barely 2 months away, silly!) Here’s a handy tip from wikihow.com:
Trigger your gag reflex by pressing your index and middle finger onto the very back of your tongue, almost into your throat. Then start stroking the back of your throat. At this point most people will just gag and cough, keeping this up will eventually cause vomiting. Doing this should induce vomiting within 2 minutes
- Bone up on you test taking skills.. Get a pregnancy test, an ELISA test, a Tzanck test and a Wassermann test
- Save yourself unnecessary stress and remember that the age of consent in the
Philippinesis 12 years old.
- Tip the hooker you woke up next to generously, it was valentines for the sake of Pete! People should be generous!
- Don’t forget to ask your customer you woke up next to for a big fat tip. It was valentines for the sake of Pete! People should be generous!

I Know What I Did Last Saturday

2006-12-10T21:07:00.000-08:00

Adam and I have never been around Malate on foot before. We thought what better way to soak up the scene than to join a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride March that was going around the area? The good people at Lesbian Advocates Philippines were nice enough to let us help them carry their banner and let us in on some parade action.
And really, there’s no better way to get around an area; we passed by the church my parents got married in, saw a lot of quaint restaurants and antique shops, met some really interesting people, got cheered on by pedestrians and campaigned for gay rights all in one afternoon!
So anyways, here are some pictures taken with my camera yesterday…

These are the members of the Golden Gays, its an organization that takes care of the gay elderly. The rightmost guy at the top row walked the whole parade in three inch heels.

Adam and the pastel priest. You gotta give the guy some credit for being so patient with us photo whores.

Aww, its a bashful twink in pink.. Reminds Adam of himself a few years back.

The fabulous gyrating ati-atihan dancers... although they're just standing around in this picture.

The tireless Amnesty International Pilipinas beauty queens. They hooked me up (and almost every pedestrian we passed) with a really nifty Gay Rights temporary tattoos.

The women of LeAP. Nice asses ladies!

And of course me, adam helping the LeAP girls carry their wonderfully ornate (its got sequins and dyed pink rock salt stuck to it!) banner. Fun, fun, fun for all!!

Yay November 8!!

2006-11-09T20:35:00.000-08:00

Today’s post is about a very special day of the year called “November 8” (which, incidentally, is also my birthday). I would have posted this yesterday (when it actually was November 8) except I spent the whole day curled up in a corner, sobbing hysterically over my wasted youth (why did I waste my money on Nips and Twin popsies back then when I could have been saving up for a quarterly botox and liposuction combo?!).

Unbeknownst to many, this is actually one of the most significant dates of modern history. So many people who’ve shaped modern society were born on this one special day; the 20th century’s movers, shakers and … um… candlestick makers

Here are just a few of the cornerstones of modern civilization born on the eighth of November.

Ace Vergel
Nov. 8, 1952

Ace “bad boy” Vergel was a 90’s Action Star Deluxe. Not content with his stellar performance in Kamusta Ka, Hudas? and Killer vs. Ninjas, Ace kept pushing the envelope for Filipino method acting. His devotion to the authentic portrayal of his characters (usually the tormented man driven to violence) is so extreme that he was sentenced to 4 years in prison for possession of methamphetamines and pot following a buy and bust operation by the NBI in 1995.

Well played Ace! As all the other reindeer said, “You’ll go down in history”, maybe more as a convict than an actor, but who really cares right?

Tara Reid
Nov. 8, 1975

No introduction or explanation necessary…

Sergev Ivasovic
Nov. 8, 1980

A truly gifted man, he has defined film editing as a higher art form. Who could forget his exquisite editing of Trinaest Stoljeca Hrvatske Kulture (circa 1993) or his work in the gripping political drama Zanimanje Izbjeglica (circa 2000)? Podivuhodný! (Slavic—it’s what all the cool kids are speaking today)

(note: that picture isn’t really of Sergev. I couldn’t find a picture of him so I just typed “some guy” in google pictures and that’s the first thing that came up.)

Chi Chi La Rue
Nov. 8, 1959

Everybody’s favorite plus sized, transvestite porn director. Where would we be without gems of hardcore adult cinema like How the West Was Hung (circa 2000), Hole Patrol (circa 2004) and Itty Bitty Titty Committee (circa1989)?

Do 5 “Adult Video News” GAYVN Awards for best director awards spell greatness? You bet your sweet bippi it does!

The Most Pointless Post Ever

2006-08-19T20:30:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday Mike “the miracle man” Velarde! Let’s hear it for the man with the freaky suit jackets!

To celebrate the occasion, I’ve been sitting in the office for the past 12 hours eating zero carb chocolate bars and listening to old Wham mp3s (can you think of a better way to spend your Saturday? I know I can’t!).
While waiting for something to go wrong at the Brother’s birthday bash (which is sort of my job… don’t ask…), I tried Googling for some interesting trivia about our favorite religious leader.
I came up with an IMDB listing about a Mike Velarde that composed the musical score for the movies Back Door to Hell (starring a young Jack Nicholson, circa 1964) and Horror of the Blood Monsters (a B-movie about space traveling vampires partially shot in the Philippines, circa 1970). However, although Brother Mike used to produce movies in his previous life (one of which was called “Young Cowboys”, Brokeback Mountain anyone?), turns out this was a different Mike Velarde; apparently there was a Filipino composer in the 70’s name Miguel “Mike” Velarde. Shoot, wouldn’t it have been so cool if it had been him?!

O well, whatever..

Rock on Brother Mike! You’ll always be number one in my book, even if your career didn’t start out in B-movies… Okay maybe not…

Coffee California: It’s Not Just the Coffee That Makes You Nervous

2006-06-23T19:56:00.000-07:00

Coffee California is close… and they’re always watching. So stay the hell away from Starbucks bitch

Condiment For The Moment: Toyo

2006-06-14T20:02:00.000-07:00

Here’s to toyo, the condiment that has absolutely no nutritional value!

Using some Wikipedia diligence, I found that toyo has, aside from MSG, none of the wholesome isoflavones usually present in soy products and maybe even the chemical 1,3-DCP, which is possibly carcinogenic.
Alright! Now that’s what I’m looking for in a condiment: a little danger and a whole lotta delicious!

In honor of toyo, I’ve decided to share my favorite toyo recipe:

Ingredients:
1 bottle of Toyo
1 Cup of Rice

Procedure:
1. Pour the bottle of toyo on the rice
2. Voila, lunch is served (did I mention I don’t know how to cook? Pancit-ulam, anyone?)

How Could You Friendster??

2005-09-30T11:25:00.000-07:00

Friendster has crossed the line with their new feature that allows users to see the last 100 people who have viewed their profiles! I’m sure there it’s violating an ass-load of privacy rights (or something)!! I mean, it has to right? Friendster stalkers should be free to stalk whoever the hell they want without that person knowing about it, dammit!

In honor of this huge infringement on Friendster Stalker privacy I have listed down the five levels of stalkerdom:

Level 1
You check his/her profile periodically, just to see if he/she has added anything to his/her (oh who am I kidding! It’s always a He!) profile that might shed more insight on his life.

Level 2
You check his profile at least once a day, in the hopes that one day a freshly added mutual friend will directly link two of you.

Level 3
You check his profile at least once a day and you know all his friendsters by heart. You’ve found a way for him to add you as his friendster if you weren’t already his friendster ( like, say, create a new friendster account for an organization you know he belongs to, but you don’t).

Level 4
You check his profile every five hours and have checked all his friends’ profiles as well to see if he wrote any of them testimonials (and to check if any of his lady friends are more special to him than all the others).

Level 5
You know his account login and closely monitor his messages and friendster activities. You take the liberty of deleting any undesirable messages (like, say his girlfriend, writing a message about how much she loves and misses him) and deleting friends who are pretty enough to be threats. Sometimes, when you feel like it, you change his login to punish him for being too friendly with one of his little lady friends.

Level 6
I haven’t gotten this far yet..I’ll let you know when do.

Let's Look on the Bright Side

2005-08-22T20:15:00.001-07:00

Ten Good Things About Being Up To Your Eyeballs in Work

1> You get to do cool stuff like not bathe or brush your hair for a whole week.

2> People have higher tolerance for your poor hygiene and bad behavior (like one time, I totally got away with lobotomizing my officemate with a pencil just because he was annoying!)

3> You frighten little children and small animals without exerting any effort.

4> When you can’t do your laundry and you have less and less wearable clothes, your fashion imagination really kicks in (who says you can’t wear your high school uniform to the office?!)

5> Time flies when you’re having fun… and when you’re chasing deadlines! (especially when you’re having fun chasing deadlines)

6> You gain the ability to change night into day just by closing your eyes. I’ve done this many times myself; at night I just close my eyes for one second and when I open them again the sun is already high in the sky.. amazing!!

7> It gets really trippy when you can’t tell if you’re dreaming or if you’re awake.

8> You earn extra income when people mistake you for a roaming lunatic and offer you their spare change.

9> You’re eye bags grow so deep that you have two convenient, take-them-everywhere-with-you pouches for storing your pan-handled spare change and house keys.

10> My mom says back-breaking work builds character. Since moms know everything, this means working your behind off will make you the coolest person alive.

The Long List of Why [Part 1]

2005-07-21T20:17:00.000-07:00

Why is it considered cool to be cono?

Isnt being cono proof of being very poor in English? I mean if someone says “Uy, make tuhog-tuhog naman the fishball for me”, it usually means they don’t know what the English word for tuhog so they just use the Filipino word and try their best to make it sound classy. If the cono were actually good representatives of the educated upper class they’re supposed to belong to, wouldn’t they know to say instead “Would you please skewer some fishballs for me?”?

Just a thought…

Well's Pushpins

2005-06-08T20:19:00.000-07:00

I bought a pack of Well’s Push Pins from Divisoria a couple of months ago. Not that I had any real use for them, it was just that it was thirty pieces of colorful, semi-transparent push pin joy for 12 pesos!

It says in the packet that it’s “ideal for school, office or home”. It’s also ideal for sticking in your stress ball to make it look like a colorful little mine.