Yet Another Shoe Post...

I've always associated breaking in new shoes with breaking in a horse (not that I know anything about horses or horse training/riding. The closest I've ever come to it is driving a scooter I lovingly named "My Little Pony"). In my mind, both involve wearing out of the horse/the shoe a bit until they bend to your will/your foot. But three weeks after they were bought, my not so new pumps are no more comfortable than they were the first time I wore them.
I'm beginning to think that pumps are the footwear equivalent of those un-trainable wild bucks you see on the old Westerns... If anything =, I think it was my feet that broke: they're covered in wounds, blisters and developing calluses, plus I think my foot bones are slowly being rearranged and realigned.
I've completely bent to the will of my shoe and resigned to ther perpetual discomfort (incidentally, these are the same shoes which I called "surprisingly comfortable" when I first tried them on in the store). This morning, after changing into my pumps in the car, I made it out of the parking lot and into my office entrance before realizing I had put each shoe on the wrong foot...

This Week’s Worth of Life Lessons: Shoes are a broke woman’s cocaine

This week, it seems as if someone turned my shoe obsession dial up to… well… as high as that shoe obsession dial can go. I suppose this is because people always want what they can’t afford and right now I can’t afford much of anything, let alone anything as frivolous as shoes. So naturally the siren call of new shoes has been stronger than ever, inexorably leading me to the jagged rocks of financial ruin. But I’m slowly wising up. Oh shiny new shoes, I will not be your bitch for much longer!! Here are some of this week’s shoe related life lessons:

- Being broke means being broke (repeat until it sinks in)
- The pair of pumps you just bought will never be the last you’ll ever want (no matter what you promise yourself)
- Don’t believe everything you see in The Sartorialist (or at least what you thought you saw); a pair of strappy sandals will never pass as closed shoes even if you wear them with black stockings
- Shoes are an expense that keep on.. um.. expensing (with new shoes comes new bags and accessories, extra travel expenses [the less walking you actually have to do the better] plus additional medical expenses [bandages and trips to an orthopedic doctor])
- The minute you step inside a shoe store you’re doomed… keep out to keep your money!!

Pictures of Past Mistakes:

I’m not sure if this is exactly the pair I bought.. from the shelf my shoes look like your basic black pump, its when you put them on that they really shine

Cognitive dissonance personified (shoe-sonified?), I feel like I’m going to be seeing this on the sale bin very soon

*couldn't find and was too lazy to take a picture of a pair of white, probably faux ostrich skin pumps with 3-inch wooden heels*

Future Conquests

(you shall be mine!!! you know.. as soon as I’m more financially stable or they go on sale.. whichever comes first)

*couldn't find a picture of these super cool Stellaluna wedges. The wedge part was 6 inches high and covered in shiny shiny patent leather!! I get a nervous twitch whenever I imagine them*

Coolest Shoes I've Seen This Week

Only Carine Roitfeld can pull these off though... or somebody equally skinny, leggy and fabulous

Lessons From 80’s Rock Ballads

ROCK BALLAD: All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You
BY: Heart
LESSON:
Are you and your significant other having trouble conceiving? Save yourself the money and hassle of taking various infertility treatments. Why not have unprotected sex with a random (and more virile) hitchhiker instead? Have a wild night of animal sex, send him packing the next day and get your preggers on for the next 9 months. No consequences, no commitments, and for the cost of one night at a cheap motel you’ll be popping out a little tike for you and your husband to call your own!

For The Love of Marc Nelson

As if I didn’t make a big enough stink out of it in Facebook, I’m also posting an entry about the Kenny Rogers Urbanite run I joined last Saturday (if you haven’t guessed by now, not enough post worthy things happen in my life)…

Fueled by boredom (being a bum is only fun if you have money and friends who are also bums) and a white hot desire to gawk at, and possibly have my way with, Marc Nelson, I joined the run almost on a whim. Anyway, the results came out today (or yesterday, I’m not really sure) and considering my only training was palpitating while staring at topless photos of Marc Nelson I don’t think I did too badly…

Of course my real run achievement was this… (thats me and Marc Nelson, in case you can't make it out.. The reason it's blurred is that Marc Nelson is so hot that he blurs all pictures taken by cameras not forged by Gods in the majestic halls of Valhalla).

How Now Brown Cow?

Well, the unthinkable has finally happened...

I finally finished my MBA (or, as they call it, my MS in BS).. What happens now? We'll see, we'll see...

*HINT: probably something that involves a boring desk job*

Goodbye For Now Taiwan

A month ago, I could barely wait to go home for Winter Break. Strangely enough, the night before my flight I can't help but feel a little sad to leave, especially now that the University is so quiet and deserted. It's actually pretty nice walking around campus without meeting anybody and hearing and seeing the few remaining dormers let it all hang out and talk and sing until mid morning. I also particularly enjoyed pulling out the lobby furniture into the dorm porch and having "lunch out" until 3 PM.

The old Tainan police station

Random building at NCKU

But of course, I'd pick the din of my semi-functional family and friends over the peace of an empty campus anyday. So, seeya Taiwan! My next post will be made from the Philippines...

Hello, Moment of Spontaneous Defamiliarization

Blame my booking my tickets home too late, but now I’m pretty much alone in the campus with so much free time I barely know what to do with myself. This morning as I was trying to brush my lashes straight with a toothbrush, I suddenly got a weird case of jamais vu; it was like I was seeing a human face for the first time. And it was then that it struck me: Why do people consider eyelashes beautiful? I mean its hair… growing out of your eyeholes! They’re like thick curved tentacles surrounding your eyes *shudders* pretty disgusting.

I’m staying away from mirrors from now on…