I’ve Got Way Too Much Free Time

A few days ago, during my usual afternoon ritual of staring vacantly at a wall while listening to 80’s power ballads, I had a vision… A vision of my future… A vision of my future with Richard Quest, my super hot business traveling beacon of hope and my window to current events around the world.

With some Photoshop diligence, I made some visuals of my glorious epiphany..

Here’s what our wedding would look like.

This is me and RQ smiling for the photographers after the 5 minute ceremony at the Little Church of the West Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas. Aww, we’re so happy!

This is our two tier wedding cake.. it will be made out of marble and won’t actually be edible, but it will taste like peaches if you lick it.

And here’s a picture of us with my newly acquired family at the reception. My two step sons Johnny (black shirt on the right) and Hadji (turban on the right). Their nanny Race Banon and dog Bandit are on the left beside Hadji. And that’s a lizard man there in the middle with The Canon of Happiness and Prosperity. I smell a Happy Ever After!!