Hello I Love December

Yay! It’s finally December! The month long diet hiatus officially begins! Cheeses, red meats and pastries everywhere beware!!

Hello, I Love Christmas Songs 3 : Zooey Deschanel & Leon Redbone

12 days before Christmas!!

Hello, I Love Pretending I Care

This holiday season, are you wondering what to give that person from the next cubicle who you don't really care about but you feel somewhat beholden to because she/he always lets you take as much of his/her tissues and use his/her scissors to jimmy your file cabinet open?

Why not send them an e-card from someecards.com? They have some pretty funny holiday cards that say loud and clear "Hey man, I don't know you that well, but merry Christmas... now can I have more tissue?"

this is funny because this is what I will be doing on the 25th...

Hello, I Love Christmas Songs 2 : Phantom Planet

15 days before Christmas!!!

Hello, I Love Christmas Songs 1 : Raveonettes

16 days before Christmas!

Give Your Loved-Ones Herpes this Christmas

coolstuffexpress.com is selling plush herpes microbes. They're cute AND educational! They also make good christmas gifts for your significant other; nothing says "forever" like big box of herpes.

UPDATE: I never noticed how much herpes looks like a fried egg...

Happy Andres Bonifacio Day!!

Although he is one of the most important figures (some would argue that he IS the most important figure) in the Philippine revolution for independence from Spain, very few of us really know who Andres, the man, is. As a child, most of the things I was taught, or that I read about, were colored by opinions of teachers and scholars. He was either glorified as a revolutionary hero or condemned for being uneducated and impulsive.

The search for the true and unbiased source of Bonifacio’s identity led me here… to his horoscope. Being born on November 30, he is a Sagittarius.

According to horoscope.com, here some clues for what Sagittarians should expect:

Celebrity Astro Gossip

Sienna Miller recently hit the headlines for the extreme lengths she was prepared to go to in a recent pop video which was definitely not children friendly! However, disturbances in her chart suggest that the next big event in Sienna’s story is going to relate to a personal relationship. Sienna may need to get herself a good publicist as the indications are that there will be some seriously salacious gossip spread around!
[Lesson from Sienna Miller to Andres: get yourself a damn good publicist, team Aguinaldo is spreading some seriously salacious gossip about you at the Tejeros Convention]

For those of us born on November 30

Happy Birthday! The months ahead are likely to provide those exciting challenges that stave off the boredom [like fighting for independence, yea!!]. Your money situation will remain strong until well into the summer, so expect no fluctuations in your finances until then. However after the summer it will be important to keep an eye on your spending patterns. The months of May and June will be a good time to take on new ventures and interests [like running for president, go Boni!], because while your energy will be at a peak you’ll also be in a more practical frame of mind, but make sure that you don’t neglect your friends [or they will promptly throw a hissy fit and then have you executed]. The fall will bring with it yet more developments [like being dead and in a shallow grave]. Affairs and flings will be the order of the day in the pursuit of fun [yes… Pugadlawin WAS super fun…]. Friendships become very solid in October and work or school will also absorb your somewhat flagging energy, which will be revived by a short respite in November!

From astrology.com:

Sagittarius Fashion Profile

The Archer is usually more at home under the stars than indoors, but even the illustrious explorer needs to wear clothing [so true!]. Not big on fashion, and not really caring about making a statement, you dress in comfortable clothes that allow freedom of movement and can handle the rugged nature of your existence [uhh, yeah.. you can’t get more rugged than a Katipunero, hello!]. Clothing made out of hemp or other natural fibers suit you best. If you finally manage to render a garment unwearable for the holes [or bullet holes], you can give it [and yourself] a proper burial to return it to the earth. Hippie days are not past yet, for long skirts, ponchos and loose-fit jeans suit you perfectly. Sportswear of any kind suits your lifestyle. You may look out of place during dressy occasions [no shit!], but you're not so concerned about what others think of your looks, concentrating instead on letting them in on the inner levels of your knowledge.

Hiking boots or sandals adorn your feet on most days [psshhh, shoes are for sissies! Katipunero's only roll barefoot!]. Going barefoot is not too rare, either [see?]. Makeup is a pain and jewelry just gets in the way, broken or lost, so you simply don't wear any [you speak the truth]. Strong colors, particularly navy blue [uh, hello, red?], lifts your spirits, but you rarely bother to match your clothing. Sagittarius men have no problem with scraggly beards, and a woman's hair is something to turn into natural dreadlocks [hahaha!! i won't even say anything], shave off or throw back in a ponytail. Your colorful clothing causes smiles as you go, unassuming, on your way.

Fave Label: Marc Jacobs [huh… I always saw Andy as more of a Michael Kors kind of guy]

Would Look Good On: Katie Holmes

Hope for the Halloweenies

This year, most prospects for Halloween are exceedingly bleak because of the US recession. Times are hard and money is scant (I have to survive on one 711 steamed bun a day just to afford my Vicodin and clay animation porn addiction [judge me if you want, but that Gumby is limber!]). People want to celebrate Halloween but are worried about costs. So, to help today’s frugal Hallowieners , I’ve compiled a list of cheap but distinctive Halloween costumes.

Lt. Mitch Buchannan

The thrifty halloweenie can go as Baywatch’s Lt. Mitch Buchannon, probably the hottest (well, arguably) male lifeguard in the show (not to mention the only male lifeguard that lasted throughout the whole series). This costume couldn’t get any cheaper, just throw on some bright orange shorts, leave some curlers on overnight, “borrow” a buoy from the community pool and draw on some chest hair and you’re good to go! Don’t have a pair of orange shorts? Just steal one from your gay neighbor’s clothes line, or spray paint any old shorts that you have lying around.

Johnny Quest

For those that want a costume that says “I crave adventure and excitement but am still really just a boy at heart”, why not go as Johnny Quest? The costume couldn’t be more inexpensive or easier to put together. Just grab your mother/sister/girlfriend’s black three-fourths sweater, put on a pair of jeans and white sneakers then soak your hair in peroxide for a few hours. Although, there is a risk that people might confuse you with Jared Leto’s character in Fight Club, but this will only happen if you’re good looking, so there’s not much risk of confusion is there?

The Blue Lagoon’s Richard and Em

Couples wanting low-cost matching costumes don’t have to look further than the classic 80’s movie, The Blue Lagoon, for inspiration. Now girls can share the experience of dressing like a slut on Halloween with their significant other at the cost of single, torn-up old white sheet. Shock your friends, relive Brooke Shields’ glory days and role play Richard and Em’s discovery of the birds and the bees as well as of the joys of incest without breaking the bank.

Mischa Barton

Female Halloweenies who are similarly cost-conscious could consider dressing up as Mischa Barton. The costume is easy! Just look through your closet and look for tops, bottoms, shoes and accessories that completely clash with each other and in no way form a cohesive ensemble. It’s a plus if you can find clothes that don’t flatter you as well. You already own everything needed to make this costume so it won’t cost you a penny! Make a statement at your Halloween costume party; show them that, like Mischa Barton, you are a free spirit! untethered by the basic rules of fashion and aesthetics. And isn’t that what Halloween is really about?? Just going nuts and throwing all good taste out the door.

Happy Halloween!!!

What is love??

It being almost valentine's and all, here are a few love lessons we should all learn, courtesy of haddaway:

What is love?

In this song, Haddaway attempts to answer the age old question, “What is love?”. The lyrics, while seemingly simple and trite to the point of being inane, actually provide deep insight to love and human nature... let’s examine some of the lyrics...



What is love? [ a statement of the question]

Baby don’t hurt me don’t hurt me no more
[the first word of this line is used to remind us that, when faced with love, we are all infants in our helplessness and innocence. This line is purposely made colloquial to underscore one of the contradictions of love: that it is accessible to the masses, that it can be in the everyday, and yet it’s manifestations are still quite extraordinary] .

Baby don’t hurt me don’t hurt me no more
[A repetition of the previous line for emphasis]

What is love Yeah
[this directs us back to the question and invites us to once more ponder upon it]

Oh, I don't know why you're not there
I give you my love, but you don't care
So what is right and what is wrong
Gimme a sign
[This verse is designed to convey the confusion that love brings about. Here we are left to guess who the singer is addressing, is it a lover? God? Himself? Or is he addressing love itself? The interpretation is left up to us.
The third line of the verse illustrates the futility of searching for black and white morality in matters of love. To be in love is to be in the gray area between right and wrong.
In the fourth line, the author uses the word “Gimme” which is a portmanteau of “give” and “me”, this is symbolic of the power of love to unite previously distinct objects and people. ]

...
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
[ This verse signifies the singer’s surrender to love. He is left without words and resorts to primal utterances of awe and joy. It should also be noted that “Whoa” is used here as a homophone of “woe” which denotes that love is a double edged sword, it inspires wonder but at the same time brings about unspeakable misery. This verse also conveys the final message of the song which is that love cannot be described in words, it must just be experienced and embraced]

So you survived Valentines day....

... congratulations on your new borderline personality disorder! Have a Carebear! (they’re absolutely scrumptious)

But don’t shift into your manic state just yet.. First make sure you’ve crossed off everything on this post valentines to-do list

- Put away all your emo CDs, take a bath, eat a decent meal and sack up! After valentines, being all weepy and lovelorn is just annoying
- Check if any of the cuts you made on yourself are still bleeding one day after you made them. Any excessive bleeding might mean you either nicked a major artery or have diabetes or something, in which case you probably need to call an ambulance… right now. Remember, self mutilation is only cool when nobody dies… (otherwise its just suicide and that was only cool for 5 minutes back in 1997)
- If you’re one of those budget conscious people who live by the “Break up before Christmas, make up after Valentine’s day” rule, it’s time to give your ex a call..
- Get rid of all that chocolate you ate (summer is barely 2 months away, silly!) Here’s a handy tip from wikihow.com:
Trigger your gag reflex by pressing your index and middle finger onto the very back of your tongue, almost into your throat. Then start stroking the back of your throat. At this point most people will just gag and cough, keeping this up will eventually cause vomiting. Doing this should induce vomiting within 2 minutes
- Bone up on you test taking skills.. Get a pregnancy test, an ELISA test, a Tzanck test and a Wassermann test
- Save yourself unnecessary stress and remember that the age of consent in the
Philippinesis 12 years old.
- Tip the hooker you woke up next to generously, it was valentines for the sake of Pete! People should be generous!
- Don’t forget to ask your customer you woke up next to for a big fat tip. It was valentines for the sake of Pete! People should be generous!