So you survived Valentines day....

... congratulations on your new borderline personality disorder! Have a Carebear! (they’re absolutely scrumptious)

But don’t shift into your manic state just yet.. First make sure you’ve crossed off everything on this post valentines to-do list

- Put away all your emo CDs, take a bath, eat a decent meal and sack up! After valentines, being all weepy and lovelorn is just annoying
- Check if any of the cuts you made on yourself are still bleeding one day after you made them. Any excessive bleeding might mean you either nicked a major artery or have diabetes or something, in which case you probably need to call an ambulance… right now. Remember, self mutilation is only cool when nobody dies… (otherwise its just suicide and that was only cool for 5 minutes back in 1997)
- If you’re one of those budget conscious people who live by the “Break up before Christmas, make up after Valentine’s day” rule, it’s time to give your ex a call..
- Get rid of all that chocolate you ate (summer is barely 2 months away, silly!) Here’s a handy tip from wikihow.com:
Trigger your gag reflex by pressing your index and middle finger onto the very back of your tongue, almost into your throat. Then start stroking the back of your throat. At this point most people will just gag and cough, keeping this up will eventually cause vomiting. Doing this should induce vomiting within 2 minutes
- Bone up on you test taking skills.. Get a pregnancy test, an ELISA test, a Tzanck test and a Wassermann test
- Save yourself unnecessary stress and remember that the age of consent in the
Philippinesis 12 years old.
- Tip the hooker you woke up next to generously, it was valentines for the sake of Pete! People should be generous!
- Don’t forget to ask your customer you woke up next to for a big fat tip. It was valentines for the sake of Pete! People should be generous!

I Know What I Did Last Saturday

Adam and I have never been around Malate on foot before. We thought what better way to soak up the scene than to join a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride March that was going around the area? The good people at Lesbian Advocates Philippines were nice enough to let us help them carry their banner and let us in on some parade action.
And really, there’s no better way to get around an area; we passed by the church my parents got married in, saw a lot of quaint restaurants and antique shops, met some really interesting people, got cheered on by pedestrians and campaigned for gay rights all in one afternoon!
So anyways, here are some pictures taken with my camera yesterday…

These are the members of the Golden Gays, its an organization that takes care of the gay elderly. The rightmost guy at the top row walked the whole parade in three inch heels.

Adam and the pastel priest. You gotta give the guy some credit for being so patient with us photo whores.


Aww, its a bashful twink in pink.. Reminds Adam of himself a few years back.

The fabulous gyrating ati-atihan dancers... although they're just standing around in this picture.

The tireless Amnesty International Pilipinas beauty queens. They hooked me up (and almost every pedestrian we passed) with a really nifty Gay Rights temporary tattoos.

The women of LeAP. Nice asses ladies!

And of course me, adam helping the LeAP girls carry their wonderfully ornate (its got sequins and dyed pink rock salt stuck to it!) banner. Fun, fun, fun for all!!

Yay November 8!!

Today’s post is about a very special day of the year called “November 8” (which, incidentally, is also my birthday). I would have posted this yesterday (when it actually was November 8) except I spent the whole day curled up in a corner, sobbing hysterically over my wasted youth (why did I waste my money on Nips and Twin popsies back then when I could have been saving up for a quarterly botox and liposuction combo?!).

Unbeknownst to many, this is actually one of the most significant dates of modern history. So many people who’ve shaped modern society were born on this one special day; the 20th century’s movers, shakers and … um… candlestick makers

Here are just a few of the cornerstones of modern civilization born on the eighth of November.

Ace Vergel
Nov. 8, 1952

Ace “bad boy” Vergel was a 90’s Action Star Deluxe. Not content with his stellar performance in Kamusta Ka, Hudas? and Killer vs. Ninjas, Ace kept pushing the envelope for Filipino method acting. His devotion to the authentic portrayal of his characters (usually the tormented man driven to violence) is so extreme that he was sentenced to 4 years in prison for possession of methamphetamines and pot following a buy and bust operation by the NBI in 1995.

Well played Ace! As all the other reindeer said, “You’ll go down in history”, maybe more as a convict than an actor, but who really cares right?

Tara Reid
Nov. 8, 1975

No introduction or explanation necessary…

Sergev Ivasovic
Nov. 8, 1980

A truly gifted man, he has defined film editing as a higher art form. Who could forget his exquisite editing of Trinaest Stoljeca Hrvatske Kulture (circa 1993) or his work in the gripping political drama Zanimanje Izbjeglica (circa 2000)? Podivuhodný! (Slavic—it’s what all the cool kids are speaking today)

(note: that picture isn’t really of Sergev. I couldn’t find a picture of him so I just typed “some guy” in google pictures and that’s the first thing that came up.)

Chi Chi La Rue
Nov. 8, 1959

Everybody’s favorite plus sized, transvestite porn director. Where would we be without gems of hardcore adult cinema like How the West Was Hung (circa 2000), Hole Patrol (circa 2004) and Itty Bitty Titty Committee (circa1989)?

Do 5 “Adult Video News” GAYVN Awards for best director awards spell greatness? You bet your sweet bippi it does!

The Most Pointless Post Ever

Happy birthday Mike “the miracle man” Velarde! Let’s hear it for the man with the freaky suit jackets!

To celebrate the occasion, I’ve been sitting in the office for the past 12 hours eating zero carb chocolate bars and listening to old Wham mp3s (can you think of a better way to spend your Saturday? I know I can’t!).
While waiting for something to go wrong at the Brother’s birthday bash (which is sort of my job… don’t ask…), I tried Googling for some interesting trivia about our favorite religious leader.
I came up with an IMDB listing about a Mike Velarde that composed the musical score for the movies Back Door to Hell (starring a young Jack Nicholson, circa 1964) and Horror of the Blood Monsters (a B-movie about space traveling vampires partially shot in the Philippines, circa 1970). However, although Brother Mike used to produce movies in his previous life (one of which was called “Young Cowboys”, Brokeback Mountain anyone?), turns out this was a different Mike Velarde; apparently there was a Filipino composer in the 70’s name Miguel “Mike” Velarde. Shoot, wouldn’t it have been so cool if it had been him?!


O well, whatever..


Rock on Brother Mike! You’ll always be number one in my book, even if your career didn’t start out in B-movies… Okay maybe not…

Coffee California: It’s Not Just the Coffee That Makes You Nervous

Coffee California is close… and they’re always watching. So stay the hell away from Starbucks bitch

Condiment For The Moment: Toyo

Here’s to toyo, the condiment that has absolutely no nutritional value!

Using some Wikipedia diligence, I found that toyo has, aside from MSG, none of the wholesome isoflavones usually present in soy products and maybe even the chemical 1,3-DCP, which is possibly carcinogenic.
Alright! Now that’s what I’m looking for in a condiment: a little danger and a whole lotta delicious!

In honor of toyo, I’ve decided to share my favorite toyo recipe:

Ingredients:
1 bottle of Toyo
1 Cup of Rice

Procedure:
1. Pour the bottle of toyo on the rice
2. Voila, lunch is served (did I mention I don’t know how to cook? Pancit-ulam, anyone?)

How Could You Friendster??

Friendster has crossed the line with their new feature that allows users to see the last 100 people who have viewed their profiles! I’m sure there it’s violating an ass-load of privacy rights (or something)!! I mean, it has to right? Friendster stalkers should be free to stalk whoever the hell they want without that person knowing about it, dammit!

In honor of this huge infringement on Friendster Stalker privacy I have listed down the five levels of stalkerdom:

Level 1
You check his/her profile periodically, just to see if he/she has added anything to his/her (oh who am I kidding! It’s always a He!) profile that might shed more insight on his life.

Level 2
You check his profile at least once a day, in the hopes that one day a freshly added mutual friend will directly link two of you.

Level 3
You check his profile at least once a day and you know all his friendsters by heart. You’ve found a way for him to add you as his friendster if you weren’t already his friendster ( like, say, create a new friendster account for an organization you know he belongs to, but you don’t).

Level 4
You check his profile every five hours and have checked all his friends’ profiles as well to see if he wrote any of them testimonials (and to check if any of his lady friends are more special to him than all the others).

Level 5
You know his account login and closely monitor his messages and friendster activities. You take the liberty of deleting any undesirable messages (like, say his girlfriend, writing a message about how much she loves and misses him) and deleting friends who are pretty enough to be threats. Sometimes, when you feel like it, you change his login to punish him for being too friendly with one of his little lady friends.

Level 6
I haven’t gotten this far yet..I’ll let you know when do.